In Trasition

transitionTransition is one of the most poignant words for me; a leap from one plane to a higher one.  I leave one platform and try to reach for a richer one. There is always a gulf between what I left behind and the one aspire to. A gap of time and a divide of space between what I abandoned and what I seek. Yes, I abandoned. I consciously take the decision to jump off from my solid base. But I don’t immediately land. I float around and keep drifting.

I am in transition. I don’t have firm ground to stand on, neither a strong wall to lean against. I am a ship in the wide ocean sailing from my last secure harbor to the next elusive harbor. This is my second sail. In this short span of life, I have gone through only one transition before. Such transition is always challenging.

I look back at my safe dock and sometimes miss the stability I used enjoy. I look forward to where I want to be, that has neither clarity, nor a concrete shape. Between these, in the ocean, I find myself slowly losing my hope. I feel vulnerable. I get overwhelmed by an emotion that is mixture of uncertainty, fear and anxiety. The toxicity of depression gradually seeps into my being. Hopelessness rears its ugly head and smirks with eagerness to invade me.

“How do you keep your hope alive in such situation?” I asked Beate as she ended her narrative of series of transitions she went through in her long career as a corporate communications expert. With her eyes set on my eyes she answered, “Share what you feel with a person whom you can trust. Sharing your fear makes it less scary.”

She continued, “Do not fear that people will reject you for who you’ve turned into. You are still the same person as you were before. Change only takes away your confidence but does not change you. You are still the same you. Reflect back on the previous transitions and how you pulled it off. Trust your history.”

“It is always easy get where you want to be when you have its clear picture. Strive to make it clear and detailed. Ask yourself how your success looks like. Break down your success into tangible steps. Take one step a day, the next step the next day. A taste of small success instills the lost confidence in you,” she ended her answer.

As I listened to her saying this, my jaws stiffened and eyes diluted. What she said had kindled a hope in me; a hope that I still have a chance. My calculated steps will take me to where I want to be. I will find a harbor I had set out for. I won’t be drifting forever. I won’t stagnate. I can get back on my feet on a higher board.


Author: turmoil

Going about trifle in turmoil.

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